Oh God No. My kids are on the internet.

I guess being a parent who is technically savvy is better than being a parent who does not even know where the power button is. The thing is, that sometimes ignorance is bliss, because once you know that your kids are on the internet, then you know that they are perusing around the world in the largest community - alone.

Well, I decided that I wasn't going to let them be "alone" just yet.

One day I was at my mom's house, and as usual, the kids were on my dad's computer. They usually play internet games, so its not a big deal and I don't take much notice. Well, it was about time for us to go home, so I went to tell them to get ready, and lo-and-behold, there was my daughter typing away on a Xanga site. I casually asked her, "What site is that you are on?" She reluctantly answered, "Xanga." I didn't take it any further. I didn't want to freak her out.

So, when we got home and I snuck down to the computer and looked up Xanga. My sister has an account that I read sometimes and I tried commenting her, but it requires an account be setup. So I set up my own account to reply to her. Then, I tried searching for anything I could find related to my daughter. Absolutely nothing came up. Thats a good and a bad thing. So I had to resort to Plan B.

A while ago, I set up a yahoo email account for my daughters so they could correspond with their friends. I registered it under my email account so I could check in to make sure they were being responsible and so far so good. I logged in to their email and there it was, an email from Xanga with her Xanga member name in the title. So, I went to Xanga and typed in her member name.

A whole new world of preteens opened up to me. Once I found her name (which I didn't really care for) I was able to link to at least 12 other kids in their grade by going through the comments, including my other daughter. Some kids put barely any personal info on their site, while others posted their whole names, phone numbers, school names, and some posted some very suggestive pictures (at least for a 12 year old). Other kids had references to drugs and more than one cussed about every other word. I found a webring for students in the grade and school that my children will be attending this fall, and I was mortified. I was mortified that 13 year olds were posting pics of themselves in bikinis and other suggestive poses. My only thought was, "Where are their parents?"

Of course, it was only by chance that I noticed my daughter on her Xanga. I would probably have never even thought about it if I hadn't paid attention, and it would have been so easy to miss. Since then, I have told my kids this story. I also told them that I expect them to be responsible about it. I do check in every now and then, and I comment on their site about life, but I haven't revealed that I am their mom on my website. They have told some of their friends who I am, but I will leave that up to them. In the meantime, I check up on some of the girls friends and have encouraged them to not reveal personal information. I know that I can't be the internet-police-mom, but at least I can allow my kids to express themselves and learn how to keep themselves safe.

After all, isn't teaching our kids how to be adults what parenting is all about?