Today is better.

Yesterday was better than Tuesday, and today is better than yesterday. I think as long as we keep things on the positive side and we keep working towards a better future, then we will be ok, maybe even great. It takes two people to accomplish that. I am in.

Just when things couldn't be more perfect...

Just when things are going great, when I have never been happier in my life, it changes.

I am so confused, so hurt. I can't say I have ever felt so bad in my life. I was numb the past couple of days. Its like when you cut yourself with a really sharp object, your skin just kind of sits there, gashed open, unbelieving, and nothing happens for what seems like the longest time. Then the blood gushes and it hurts and pulsates and you wonder if it will ever stop bleeding or heal. Today is the bleeding, gushing, pulsating day.

It sure hurts for a long time and scars really bad. I wonder if I will ever heal from this. All I can do is nurse the wound and hope that time will help. I just can't believe this has happened. I am such a trusting person and that has been completely demolished. It took me 8 years to heal from the last injury to my heart.

I haven't really told anyone about this, its hurts too much and I don't know where I am heading yet. I need to decide that first, free from other people's opinions. I think I am going to make an appointment with my psychologist, so I can get an unbiased opinion. She is always there for me...

Just keep me in your thoughts :)
Kristine

Its that time of year again!

Today I am 31 years old. I am the exact opposite of my kids, who are 13. It feels wierd being a thirtysomething because I just don't feel that way inside. Inside I feel about 26. Tonight I am working out, then Beau and I are eating out at the Brickyard Oven. I got a birthday coupon in the mail worth up to $18! I plan on getting something yummy. On Sunday, my family is getting together for my b-day and we are having salad, bread, lasagna, chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting, and chocolate chip ice cream. So yummy! Another year added to my age. I hope no more health problems come up this year or for the rest of my life actually!

A Bunch of Bits and Pieces

Last night I got to cuddle with a really sweet baby, my kids' little brother. He is just a sweet lump of snuggleness and SO strong for only being 2 months old. A coworker had her baby her at work and I also got to snuggle with him today. He is 6 months old and so happy. The baby just laughs and laughs.

I went shopping and bought 2 new pairs of jeans and 2 shirts last night. I feel great. Why is it that buying new clothes just makes you feel so good?

I have started journaling in my food/exercise diary again (yes, I stopped) so hopefully I can get back on track and lose some more weight. I haven't weighed myself since before Christmas. EEK! I am just a bit scared. Tomorrow morning is the time.

I drank a large 32 oz ice tea for lunch and I have to jet off the the ladies room for the 100th time this afternoon.